When you can’t control what’s happening; challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening!  That’s where your power is!

Far too often, we work from a place of reaction versus a proactive approach.  Whether we have a bad day or good day is often dependent on the situation or person involved versus it being about how we CHOOSE for the day to be with respect to it being a good one or a bad one.

How many of you have seen someone with a severe disability yet seems to have a positive outlook on life and their personal situation and we have said to ourselves, “I could never have that positive attitude in that situation!” or “I couldn’t deal with that!”


Someone we know recently lost a loved one or they lost their only stream of income and seem to be coping quite well in spite of their circumstances and thought to ourselves…”I could never handle it as well as that person.”

All of us are human and none of us are exempt to unforseen occurances, yet we all have the CHOICE as to how we will respond to those situations.  We can think of a few individuals who were dealt a heavy blow in life and yet live or lived a positive life.  For example, Franklin Roosevelt who was paralyzed from the waist down from Polio BEFORE running for office.  Oprah Winfrey who was molested from the age of nine years old and conceived a child of rape at the age of fourteen and in spite of that is now one of the highest paid individuals in the world with a heart to serve others in the process.  Or Sylvester Stallone who at birth due to an accident during labor caused him paralysis in his face which affected his lips, tongue and chin which contributes to his slurred speech and deformity in his face…did he succumb to that incident?  No he used it to propel him to stardom with the Box Office Rocky Series and used those disabilities to create the character of Rocky!  And the list literally goes on and on.

We can choose to be a victim or to be victorious in spite of our situations and regardless of how inspired we are by others who choose to take adversity and use that as fuel for triumph; when faced with the slightest uncomfortability…we shrink.  Why?  For some, we just have to work harder at programming our minds to think words such as I CAN, COMMIT, UNSTOPPABLE!  So here are some tips that work, even for those who inspire others:


  1.  Prayer: I am a firm believer in the MOST HIGH!  What you have as a deficiency…he replenishes and gives in abundance.  NEVER go in prayer with doubt.  Always go with the mindset that HE is all capable and you have been equipped with all that is necessary to complete whatever task is before you.  Also remember…HE appears to you how YOU see him.  So if you see him as the all end be all, that is how he will appear.  However, if you come in doubt, don’t be surprised when the thing you are praying for does not come to fruition and the response to whatever is before you will be more of an obstacle versus something to propel you to higher levels.
  2. Believe: Believe that you are ENOUGH!  You need nothing more but what your life experiences and education has brought you thus far.   If there is more to be learned; just as you did before…you WILL learn it.  You are equipped.
  3. Surround yourself with like minded individuals.  If you are around nay sayers and doubters and those who respond negatively to life in general, so shall you be!  If you do not have that within your circle; limit the amount of time you spend with those with that type of mindset.  It WILL effect you and not in the way in needs to.  To replace that, read books that are written by those who have come through from the other side, knows what it is to push through and use that information to assist in your journey of creating the CAN DO mind and the mind of it is not the situation, but rather how I respond to it!


  1. Never relinguish to others what only YOU can hold!  Only you can control what your thoughts are.  No one has to know them, no one can strip you of it unless you CHOOSE to give that type of power away to someone else.  If someone is speaking negatively over what you can and cannot do or accomplish; utilize the favorite quote…”I can show you better than I can tell you.”  If you look at the time of slavery, or in the cases of domestic abuse.  It is not the physical abuse of the body that the oppressor seeks to control, it is the MIND!  That is because once the mind is under control, the need for abuse will be unnecessary.  The abuse is just a means to an end…mind control!
  2. Never look at yourself as a victim!  A victim mindset will always look to others to fix it and make things right.  You can determine that by your thoughts and how you choose to respond to trauma, a negative experience and so on.  You are not defined by that moment, you are however defined by how you choose to respond by asking yourself…what was the lesson in that moment?  What can I take away that can empower me and others?  How will I use this negative experience to strive to be the best version of myself and be not just a survivor, but an OVERCOMER?
  3. Never think that you are in control of life!  Only one is and that is not you or I.  When you realize that, it removes the pressure of that and just allows you to focus on what you can control and that is your responses.  No time wasted, just time and energy on what you can control because your thoughts precede your actions; negatively or positively!  Elevate your mind and the body will follow!

Is this process easy?  For some no, in fact for most…No!  However, the mind is like any other muscle in your body…it can be trained and if trained and used enough, it will conform to the new look you are seeking.  Keep these things in mind:

  1. Think of the origin of what you are feeling:  Is it coming from a place of hurt, pain, or anger.  Address that within yourself FIRST and then address the other person or situation so that you will give it its proper emotion and more importantly…the proper response!
  2. Examine the outcomes of your responses: Are the positive responses or negative ones.  For every action there is a reaction so what reactions are you receiving from your responses?  If negative, look at ways in which you are saying things.  Analyze if was something that required your response at all.
  3. Think of the person you want to be…not the person you are currently working on: We are all a work in progress!  Keep the end result in mind and work backwards!

If you do not plan, you plan to fail.  So after reading this…ask yourself the following Self Reflective questions:

  1. What will you do differently to respond to negative events/situations that may come your way?
  2. What will be your step by step process in order to accomplish the best response possible?